Preakness 2012: Meet Kegasus' Sidekick, UniCarl

We've pretty much made our peace with the fact that we're not the target audience for whoever's in charge of running marketing for the Preakness Stakes.

Call us old-fashioned, but we're pretty sure that our enjoyment of a horse race does not depend on a fictional anthropomorphic half-man, half-horse mascot. We're also pretty sure that our enjoyment of anything does not depend on the presence of Maroon 5, but it appears that ship's already sailed as well.

So, naturally, the Maryland Jockey Club has doubled down by introducing (we swear to God we're not making this up) UniCarl.

We mean ...

Do you want to see some of UniCarl's witticisms on Twitter? No? OK!

We still don't know what that means.

Ugh. Just ugh.

Hat tip to DCist for this sad news.

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