SB Nation DC: All Posts by Andrew Kinback

2012 MLB Playoffs: The Nats don't need excuses

2012-10-15T18:16:19Z

I feel you, Washington. I really do. My rat's nest is two hours away in central Virginia and even here I can feel the sad and miserable vibes radiating out of the Nation's Capital. Don't feel bad, I understand.

Your team was one game away, just one win from advancing in the playoffs. They had all the momentum; others were on the beach, but they had the wave to themselves. They came in like a raging Mongol horde. Sure, during the regular season there were bumps and bruises along the way, but they entered the postseason with the best record in the league, an accomplishment not to be ignored. The team played with pride and purpose. Even when their opponents actually gave them enough trouble to push the series to the limit no one was really concerned.

One more game. Just one more against a team that offered little in comparison during the regular season. What made it all seem sweeter was that the broader picture was bright. The other playoff teams seemed like mere traffic cones on the way to the championship. None of them had the strength and pizzazz to offer much opposition on the way to the ultimate prize. Just one more win, one more game and you could literally stencil the team's name in history. Just one more game-and they blew it.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009-10 Washington Capitals.

This is the part of the writing procedure where I tell you the similarities between that 2009 Caps team and the 2012 Washington Nationals. I can tell you there are absolutely none except both Washington teams were on the cusp of greatness and A.) during a pivotal game they choked against a team the really had no business being there, and B.) they aren't playing right now when they should be.

Yep, I said it. The Nats CHOKED. Here D.C. fans thought that dirty little word was reserved for the Atlanta Braves. Last Friday they learned differently. Hate me for stating it so bluntly, but the Nats choked. You couldn't call it anything else. What else do you call completely unraveling when there was a 6-0 lead in your home Park? All facets of their game completely broke down until the final and tragic conclusion that was hung on reliever Drew Storen's shoulders. They choked. Simple as that.

Yet, people still seem they are unwilling to accept that. They don't want it to be simple. People seem to be more than happy looking to the skies for excuses and black magic omens. Lord knows I've heard plenty since Friday. I've heard everything from bad umpiring calls to curses involving a team that never played a game in Washington in its existence.

It is understandable that people are upset. It is just part of the theatre of baseball. When there is a high there is always a low to balance it out. But I think I am more upset at all the excuses, stories and fabled curses that people are trying to bring to the forefront. I don't see what all that accomplishes and how that is productive. I think healing and "getting over" this past weekend's events will be a whole lot easier if we just lay the blame where it belongs: the Nats. They choked. Yes, our heroes who stunned us all season, had the best record in the Majors, dethroned the Philadelphia Phillies as N.L. East Champions and finally branded themselves on the hearts of D.C. sports fans choked. Disappointment is expected, but after all the team has accomplished in 2012, technically ahead of schedule, I just don't know how anyone can be truly angry.

We've heard it before, especially from parental units: "I'm not angry with you, just disappointed." And as we all know, for some reason we find that disappointment to be a whole lot worse than any potential anger. Afterwards we usually try to fix whatever we did to avoid any further "disappointment." Well, I am taking that stance when it comes to the 2012 Nats. I'm not angry with you, Nats, I'm just disappointed.

I'm not angry with the umpiring crew. If the game was truly lost on a blown call then the game should never have gotten to that point with a 6-0 lead to begin with. I'm not mad at the St. Louis Cardinals. They came in and did exactly what they were supposed to do. The Nats didn't. I could rant and rage at any multiple of things, but anger is useless. It can be used against you and I think Washington baseball fans are smarter than that.

I've proudly worn my Nats N.L. East Champion hat even after the devastating loss on Friday. Now is not the time to create myths and legends and now is not the time to go off on anger filled tangents full of excuses. This is only the beginning. Now is the time to be introspective. Now is the time to rest and refortify because before you know it, March will be here and Bryce Harper, Jayson Werth, Ryan Zimmerman and Stephen Strasburg will be walking back onto a diamond in Viera to begin the dance all over again.

The Nationals will need all the support they can get in beginning to build upon a legacy that will one day wipe the 2012 postseason from memory.

The Nationals' Most Valuable Piece Isn't On The Field

2012-05-29T18:27:46Z

I am the type of guy who likes to give credit when credit is due and I have to credit Thomas "One Week I'm Happy, The Next I'm Doom and Gloom" Boswell for the article in Tuesday morning's Washington Post. In it, Boz goes down the list of the nightmarish scenarios the 2012 Washington Nationals have had to endure due to injuries and Acts of God. But somehow, he continues, through the trials and tribulations they have come together as a fledgling perennial contending ball club.

For Boswell, it was a relatively slap-happy piece. It almost makes me want to take Steve Lombardozzi out for a romantic date consisting of hitting the batting cages, lobster at Bonefish, and unmentionable actions of pure lust and fanboyism late at night in a room at the local Super 8. Almost. This is a Boswell piece and even in the most positive of writings there is always a vein of subtext that is dark and ominous. He can't seem to avoid it. On top of it all, I think he made one mistake that I will look to remedy right now. Boswell listed off a good many reasons for the Nationals astounding continued success, but he failed to give credit where credit is certainly due.

I remember the first time I heard Nats manager Davey Johnson speak. It was a few games into his new tenure as Nats skipper, but after he started 0-3 before getting his first win at the helm of the Curly W Machine. I don't know what he was talking about, I couldn't tell you. No, seriously, I couldn't tell you because I couldn't understand a word he said. I had to lean over and tap the guy next to me on the shoulder and ask, "What did he just say?" Johnson has a way of talking so that when he gets into deep, comfortable conversation all the words start to come together and get lost in the delivery. It sort of reminds me of getting peanut butter stuck on the roof of my mouth and still trying to have discourse while attempting to dislodge the goo with my tongue. This is the reason why I refer to Johnson as "Peanut Butter Mouth" in places like my blog.

I left that first meeting shaking my head. Here were the Nats, barely weeks removed from Jim Riggleman spazzing out and caving to the pressures of running a Major League club, trying to scrape their way out of the doldrums of the NL East, and General Manager Mike Rizzo puts out this 68-year old codger who hardly could be understood in charge. Never mind the fact that he looked like he couldn't even balance himself on the dugout steps without being blown off by a gust of wind. Johnson's appointment to the job was a long time suspected and coming and it was like he rode a white horse into Washington, but I couldn't help but think the team had placed yet another bizarre character on the field, in the same vein as Jim Bowden, Lenny Harris or a costumed theme park mascot. For a while, it looked that way. After every botched play, bad pitch or swinging K, you'd find Johnson silently standing at the top of the dugout steps, hunched over on one knee just staring at the game unfolding before him. You pretty much found him the same way after something positive, except he'd be the first one to raise his hand for a high five.

Fast forward to 2012. Johnson standing at the top of those dugout steps has become symbolic. You don't really see a 69-year old man there. Johnson taking his place is now a symbol of confidence, stoutness, fortitude and unfathomable knowledge. He is no reed, he will not bend with the wind. He will push him, his team and the whole of Washington baseball culture forward with him, against the wind and any challenge that stands before him. He has become the manager that the Nationals need and deserve.

The Nationals have had managers since baseball returned to D.C., but each had flaws that prevented them from truly sticking in Washington. Frank Robinson was tough, but his own legend sometimes got in the way of what was going on. Manny Acta was a snot-nose who sometimes didn't look like he knew what he was doing and was always waiting for a "spark" to ignite the faltering squad rather than creating it on his own. Then Riggleman-- well, there was Riggleman.

Johnson has offered the Nationals something the other managers did not: stability and belief. Johnson certainly sticks up for his players. His support of Drew Storen, Henry Rodriguez, Jayson Werth and Ian Desmond is well documented, and who was the first guy in the organization to say Bryce Harper should be in the big leagues? You know who. And Johnson isn't fearful of making hard decisions either, even if they go against his own heart. The promotion and demotion of Rodriguez is a fine example that Johnson is going to do everything it takes to win. Johnson has also always believed that his team is going to make the playoffs. He does not half-ass anything by declaring .500 to be the goal. Johnson has so far been silent, strict, supporting and stupendous on his dugout stairs and deserves as much praise as anyone on the team or in the organization for the Nationals' rise.

Credit should be given when credit is due.

Praise for Davey Johnson is long overdue.

Nationals Have A History Of Strange And Unusual Injuries

2012-05-18T17:01:11Z

Everyone has their guilty pleasures. We all do. Mine just happen to be lathering cooking butter all over my chest, watching Jaws 3 over and over again, and Washington Nationals baseball. I can't help it. It is just me. I also listen to Savage Garden once a year. However, one of my favorite guilty pleasures requires you to truly get your nerd hat on.

I am a huge fan of David Lynch's sci-fi "holy chicken [BLEEP], what the hell was that" Dune. If you know nothing about Dune, it is an epic written by Frank Herbert that truly rivals Lord of the Rings in scope. In Lynch's cinematic version, Sting wears a blue bat on his crotch. The film was an absolute disaster, but it is visually so stunning and packed with stars (or future stars) that you almost don't notice that the story makes almost no sense. To get back on point (and there is one, I promise) there is a scene where Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam tells Kyle MacLachlan to put his hand into "The Box" for a "crisis/humanity test" or suffer the rather painful death of being injected with the poisonous gom jabbar. MacLachlan asks what is in the box. The Reverend Mother says only one word: pain.

Indeed. MacLachlan's hand dissolves in the box like liquid bacon and after a few orgasmic S&M moments he is allowed to take his hand out of the box and it is fine. No crispy bacon hand fritters. It was all mental, all inside him, all in his mind. The Nationals are going through their own pain and crisis test currently with a rash of injuries that seem to baffle the mind. Unfortunately, when the Nats take their hand out of the box, I am not sure that either their hand or their stake in the NL East will be okay.

Currently on the disabled list for the Nationals are Mark DeRosa, Cole Kimball, Chris Marrero, Sandy Leon, Jayson Werth, Wilson Ramos, Drew Storen, Michael Morse, Ching-Ming Wang and Brad Lidge. Minus Leon, those are all starters. All those guys should have been on the Opening Day roster. We might also want to mention that All-Star third baseman Ryan Zimmerman, a revived Adam LaRoche and Roger Bernadina have missed some games due to injury this season as well. That the Nats have maintained a strong position in the division when missing more than half their starters and key pitchers is a testament to the heart and guts the 2012 Nationals have. In years past, so many injuries would have been a gom jabbar to the team. They would have keeled over defeated. Not this season. These injuries have the players stepping up and pushing hard, but how long that can last without exhausting the hell out of themselves has yet to be seen. A tough part of the schedule is coming up and they are going to need many hands on deck to get through it.

It is absolutely baffling. All the injuries would be tragically hilarious if the team wasn't sitting in position at the top of the division. Morse and Storen aren't able to make it out of Spring Training, Werth breaks his wrist trying to "Take Back The Park" from his old fans and friends from Philly and a few nights later, Ramos' ACL decides it has had enough. Astounding bad luck. However, these aren't the most memorable of Nationals injuries. Over the years they've compiled some tragic, memorable and sometimes downright weird ones. Here are a couple of my favorites:

Luis Ayala Got Shot--While Fishing: In 2007 former Nats set-up man Luis Ayala had to miss some time due to being shot with buckshot while fishing with friends.
Jim Bowden Once Prayed To Jesus Colome's Buttocks: In 2007 reliever Jesus Colome was strangely not available during one point of the season and it was later revealed he was having surgery to remove a "abscess from his buttocks." The jokes write themselves. The injury also had former GM Jim Bowden saying, "I pray for his buttocks and his family."
The National Who Was Never A National: Do you remember starter Brian Lawrence? Probably not because he never really suited up for the Nationals. Lawrence came to D.C. in 2006 in a trade for Vinny Castilla (whose mullet was outlasting his knees). On the second day of Spring Training it was found Lawrence had a torn labrum and a torn rotator cuff in his right shoulder. He sat on the DL all of 2006 and the Nats did not pick up his option in 2007.
The Collision That Ended Austin Kearn's Time In DC: Let me just say I love former Nats first baseman Nick Johnson. I also had no problem with ex-Nats outfielder Austin Kearns, but fans were tiring of Kearns in D.C. with his low batting average and constant injuries himself. So when he collided with Nick Johnson and broke Johnson's leg during a game in 2006, the writing was on the wall for Kearns. It wasn't the definitive reason Kearns didn't work out in Washington, but who can forget that image of Johnson withering on the ground in pain and Kearns looking over him like some sad puppy dog?

Who can also forget the injury adventures of John Patterson and Shawn Hill? Dmitri Young ripping off Jim "Leatherpants" Bowden is pretty memorable as well, and who didn't think Stephen Strasburg's injury in 2010 was probably one of the darkest events in D.C. Sports History? I'm sure there are others and I'd like to hear about them and your (non) favorites in the comments.

The Nationals have issues with injuries, but this season's injuries aren't the worst they've ever had-- or the weirdest.

Nationals And Phillies Epic Takes On New Meaning

2012-05-04T18:55:50Z

It is no secret that the Washington Nationals have offensive problems. Their inability to get runs across the plate brings back memories of 2011, and why not? Aside from the rookie call-ups and plug-ins due to injuries, it is basically the same line up as 2011. The definition of "madness" is to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results, a mindset that General Manager Mike Rizzo seems more than happy to subscribe to.

As a result, the Nationals got Clubber Lang'd by the L.A. Dodgers in a sweep and they luckily, barely, Bryce Harper-ly avoided the venomous bite of the Arizona Diamondbacks. The fans, thankfully, didn't have to suck out the poison after that series. Remarkably, the Nationals have maintained their grasp on the top spot of the NL East through it all, but it is unfortunate that these offensive revelations (although they have been fortold for awhile now) come right on the cusp of one of the more important home series they have played since the team relocated to D.C. in 2005.

At first glance, the first meeting between the Nationals and the Philadelphia Phillies in 2012 seems rather lackluster and pointless. They are two NL East rivals going in opposite directions: the Nationals are a team on the rise with its youth movement while the Phillies are on the decline as they watch their once reliable stars become fallible and their game become as shaky as Chase Utley's knees. They both start a series at Nationals Park on Friday night without some of their powerhouse players due to injuries. The Nationals lead the division while the Phillies sit in fourth. If it still wasn't so early in the season, I would compare this contest to Darth Maul fighting Jar-Jar Binks.

As a Nationals fan, it would be almost too easy to get cocky. It is strange saying that finally after so many seasons of having to endure abuse and embarrassment in the stands and standings at the hands of Philadelphia and their troupe of traveling degenerates. Yes, it would be more than easy to be sucked into the whole "Take Back The Park" thing and believe the team did everything in its power to prevent Phillies fans from buying tickets to "invade" Nationals Park. I might be the only one, but I find the whole gimmick sort of embarrassing. Yeah, it got the team's name in a bunch of papers and made COO Andy Feffer into even a bigger cartoon character than he already is, but come on-- is this how Major League teams act? Someone is making money off this farce and you have to tip the hat to the guy who concocted such a simple, but evil scheme. Will there be a lot of Phillies fans in attendance this series? I am willing to bet yes. This is America. If you have the time, the drive and the money you can do anything. If Phiilies fans want to be in D.C. spending their money, that is what they are going to do.

For the Nationals, the series this weekend against their dreaded rivals is more than trivial attendance numbers, hordes of disrespectful visitors trampling flower beds and the ridiculous debate on "whose" park it is (Look at the name on the outside of the building for the answer. End of story.) It isn't about staying in first place or gunning for the playoffs. If this weekend should mean anything to the Nationals, it should be about kicking sand in the Phillies face and beating them to dust over nine innings.

This weekend should be about making a statement on the field.

Make no mistake: just because the Phillies are without Utley and Ryan Howard does not make them any less formidable. Fourth place this early in the season means nothing. Philadelphia is still the team to beat in the NL East and if by some nightmarish chance Philly can leave D.C. with a three game sweep-- POOF. There goes that 3.5 game lead and first in the division. The Phillies have cherished a dominating record over the Nats the past few seasons and have no doubt they will be coming in with the confidence (overconfidence?) of knowing they can pound Washington into the ground.

The Nationals will not be pushovers however. They come into Friday's game with one of the youngest, hottest and hardest-throwing rotations in MLB and will pit them against the veteran Phillies rotation that has had more than its share of weak points this season. Even with injuries to Ryan Zimmerman, Michael Morse and Adam LaRoche, the Nationals line-up is the strongest it has been in years and it is being led by a hot rookie named Bryce Harper whose competitive nature must be dying to dig in and duke it out with the East's finest.

The Nats have said they have changed the culture of baseball in Washington and are ready to stake their claim in the NL East. I can think of no better opportunity or a better team to prove it against. So forget about the Dodgers. Forget about the attendance and who is or who is not there. Pay attention to what is going on on the field. The tides of the NL East will be changed by the end of the weekend.

Let's just hope the offense doesn't leave the team on the beach.

Plenty Of Intrigue In Nationals Bullpen

2012-04-24T14:34:55Z

I am going to take a leap of faith and assume that most of us, especially those reading a baseball article, have once or twice in our lifetime dreamed of being a Major League Baseball player. We just dreamed about it, with no reservations. We dream of being on our favorite team and playing alongside our favorite players, usually during an all-important game. More often than not, it is Game 7 of the World Series, and more often than not we dream of being the starting pitcher.

Come on, you know you have. You've always wondered what it would be like to be in that situation. You're given the ball to win it all and you put on the performance of a career. You are hot, sweaty and your arm is tired, but you dig deep because you are only three outs away from a complete game and World Series victory for the home team. The ball is a foreign object that you roll in your hand, but it is also a part of you as you stare towards home plate to both receive your sign and intimidate the batter. It is a scene played out millions of times in millions of baseball dreams.

I too had this dream for awhile (as well as the dreams where I slug the game-winning home run or I'm the outfielder making a Willie Mays-like catch at the wall), but it wasn't until I viewed the 1989 film Major League that all that changed. Charlie Sheen's "Wildthing" walk from the bullpen has to be one of the coolest cinematic scenes of someone walking since Travolta's "Final Strut" at the end of Staying Alive. Since then I've always had the dream of making that fabled walk from the bullpen to the mound, and I bet you can't guess what team I would love to be making that walk for, especially in 2012.

If I was a relief pitcher in the Majors right now, I wouldn't want to be in any other pen than that of the Washington Nationals. True, there is lots going on all over the organization. The starting rotation is one of the hottest in baseball, and there has to be some sort of dark power at work on the offense because I have no idea where they suddenly got the power to hit in key situations and make them count. But that bullpen-- intriguing.

We all know the fan favorites like All-Star reliever Tyler Clippard and "Bad Company" closer Drew Storen. Those guys are mainstays and have their own baseball cards and if I was a pitcher I would want to work with them any day of the week. Relievers Sean Burnett and Ryan Mattheus are coming around after a few bumps. Their performances so far have been more than serviceable and when Burnett is on, he is on like a honey badger on a cobra. We also can't forget about young fireballer Cole Kimball, who is currently out until possibly July after undergoing shoulder surgery. The kid wowed Natstown last season with a lot of heat and a mean, aggressive streak.

However, the real intrigue comes from two relievers in the pen who are both in the Top 4 of Nationals ERA and who each came to the organization in different ways. Drafted by the Nats in the 12th round of the 2005 Major League Draft, Craig Stammen (1.04 ERA) joined the Nationals as a starter while reliever Henry Rodriguez (0.00 ERA) came down the pipeline from the Oakland Athletics in 2010 in a trade for Josh Willingham. Stammen was an average, lackluster starter who seemed destined to become another Collin Balestar: a forgettable pitcher who sprinkled a few memorable performances in with his inconsistency. He never truly looked like he was ever going to stick in the Nationals rotation and for all intents and purposes, he might as well had "trade bait" stamped on his head.

Then in August 2010 the organization put him in the bullpen, where Stammen seemed to finally find a place. So far in 2012, Stammen has put together an impressive portfolio, pitching in six games and giving up only seven hits and one run, while striking out 11, including back-to-back games where he struck out the side in his inning of work. He looks more confident, stronger and goes after batters. Stammen is an example of a starter-turned-reliever that is thriving from the change.

Rodriguez came to the Nationals under the radar, probably because no one truly knew who the soft spoken Venezuelan was. There were stories that Rodriguez had heat, but when he came from Oakland with outfielder Corey Brown in the Josh Willingham trade, there was little fanfare about it. My, how times have changed. Rodriguez now helps Brad Lidge with closing duties for the team in Storen's absence and he burns batters with a vicious triple-digit fastball. Seemingly gone is the lack of control that plagued him in his first season in Washington, and he has matured and ripened into a formidable reliever that fans look forward to seeing work. The guy has a pitch that goes just as fast as a Brandon Jacobs' death race through New Jersey. You sort of have to pay a guy like that notice and you sort of want to be on that guy's team.

It used to be the only guy that seemed excited to enter a game for Washington from the bullpen was Todd Coffey. Now, a hardened, young relief staff in Washington has put the league on notice and all you want to do is watch, cheer and dream.

Adam LaRoche Is Carrying The Heart Of The Nationals' Order

2012-04-13T14:57:03Z

The Washington Nationals are only seven games into a very vernal 2012 campaign, but already there are several surprises that have fans in Natstown doing a double take. There is the fact the team sits alone on top of the NL East without the help of Michael Morse, and, by extension, a true offensive power threat. Shortstop Ian Desmond seems to have found new life in the lead-off role. He leads the team in hits (13) and is in the top three of team batting average (.406) and on-base percentage (.441). There is the shock at how godawful the Atlanta Braves, Miami Marlins and Philadelphia Phillies have been this early on and shock at how much the New York Mets have actually been functioning like an average baseball team.

Then there is the bewilderment that I am writing an Adam LaRoche article this early in the season, or even writing one at all.

It is hard not to argue that the biggest surprise of the young season has been LaRoche. The guy leads the Nats in home runs (2), RBI (8), and slugging percentage (.586), and is in the team's top three of batting average (.406). He has been tip-top in the field, and he has been getting things done with the bat when it counts. Take the Nats' home opener against the Cincinnati Reds Thursday. The score is tied at nil in the fifth inning. LaRoche is up to bat with the bases loaded, two outs and one strike against him. Maybe it was his nine years of baseball experience that came into play or maybe memories of getting chewed out by his own son for a poor performance still hung with him. Whatever it was, LaRoche delivered. He smoked a two-run single up the middle off the Reds' Mat Latos to give the Nats a 2-0 lead. If it wasn't for Brad Lidge imploding in the ninth (where art thou, Drew Storen?) that would have been game and LaRoche would have been a one-man Opening Day army.

It is so odd to be singing LaRoche's praises in 2012. Honestly, no one saw it coming except maybe Mike Rizzo and LaRoche himself. After a long off season of rumors of the Nats wanting to pick up Prince Fielder and LaRoche getting over injuries and surgeries, it seemed like the team and the player would be on a collision course of some kind. It has always been known that LaRoche was not in the team's long term plans at first base, and due to various ailments, LaRoche was not living up to the two-year contract the Nats gave him in 2011.

The failure to land Fielder and the reliance on LaRoche gave fans a bit of uncomfortable cottonmouth and even though LaRoche said he understood that the game was a business and the Nats were going to do what is best for the Nats, no one truly believed he was happy about what was going on. He seemed to be a loner. A Nationals player on the team who didn't truly feel like a National. He was a loner. A ballplayer who was playing, but really had no team. What a miserable situation. No one could truly work in that environment and thrive. How could they?

What damn fools we've been. We forgot that this is David Adam LaRoche we are talking about here. This guy hunts deer with a guy who looks like Captain Caveman. He has battled to be the best he can be on the field even though he suffers from ADHD. He is a strong and devoted family man. And no matter how many shoulder injuries or labrum surgeries he goes through, nothing seems to keep him from getting back on that field. Of course we shouldn't be shocked by LaRoche's early success. The guy battles through adversity, and really, that is the type of player this young Nationals team needs, especially this year.

In 2007 I had the honor of briefly meeting LaRoche in Dunedin, FL before a Spring Training game when he was a member of the Pittsburgh Pirates. He was polite, engaging, a class act, and he knew and understood the game. Even back then I was thinking, "Man, I would love this guy to be on my team." Five years later, the planets aligned.

LaRoche could easily have pulled a John Lannan and asked for a trade after all the offseason mess, but he didn't. Such a move really isn't in his make up. LaRoche is a baseball player, he wants to play baseball and nothing seems to stop him from that goal. While he might not put up the huge numbers fans tend to enjoy, what he does bring to the field and locker room is invaluable, and perhaps we in Washington were too quick to make judgements on what we see on the outside.

Because on the inside, under that number 25 jersey is the heart of a Washington National.

To Compete, Nationals Are Going To Have To Find Hits

2012-04-06T14:55:15Z

I've had two great ideas in my whole life, and both of them came to me last night after the Washington Nationals' 2-1 Opening Day win over the Chicago Cubs. They entered my mind while listening to "Staying Alive" by the Bee Gees on repeat for two straight hours at full blast and blaring a vuvuzela across my yard and towards the house across the street. The house contained four college nerds who all had the audacity to wear Cub jerseys and prance around my neighborhood this morning. That's right. In MY neighborhood.

Opening Day brought it all out of me. Secretly, I'd felt like a soccer hooligan all day. I felt the burn. That scrumptiously savage and primitive lust a rabid sports fan feels when he or she dedicates a piece of their lives to a team. The team becomes another ball or kidney and if you are anything like me, no one puts their hands on or pounds on my balls and kidneys without a fight. These guys had it coming for their insolence. Back to my ideas.

Please, don't mind me as I pat myself on the back because these concepts are instant gold. The first was that someone needed to create a full fledged Rocky Horror Picture Show Wii game. They need to make it like those Just Dance games where you follow the dances to the songs. Can you imagine seeing people do the Time Warp in living rooms across America? Dr. Frank-N-Furter would be pleased.

But hold onto your pants, Natstown. I'm about to blow you away with an even bigger idea. It is going to totally to turn the script on everything you know. While taking in the first game of the regular season on Thursday, I thought it would be a good idea if the Nationals actually learned to hit the ball.

BOOM.

Make no mistake: a win is a win and I will take it any day of the week, but for seven innings Thursday the Nationals looked absolutely ridiculous. Washington had only four hits all game. Three of those hits came from Ian Desmond while the other lone hit of the game came from an all important at-bat from a pinch runner in Chad Tracy. They left 9 men on base. Somehow, the Nationals struck out ten times against Ryan Dempster. Ryan Freaking Dempster. Again, a win is a win-- but the door could have easily swung the other way and D.C. wouldn't be in such bliss now. We can't ignore that. The Nats offense was setting up to be the team's own Steve Bartman, overextending it's bloody reach from 2011 into 2012 to snatch crushing defeat from the jaws of victory.

It is only the first game of the season, and we aren't really going to have a good read on the 2012 Nats until something like 10 games in, but problems with the offense have been foreseen since the Winter Meetings when general manager Mike Rizzo built an incredible rotation, but failed to address the line up. This neglect will come with a heavy price for the Nats in 2012. The definition of "insanity" is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I suspect putting the same line up as the Nats had in 2011 out there over and over again will lead you to the same madness.

The team's big hitters (or at least guys who need to seriously hit), Ryan Zimmerman, Jayson Werth, Adam LaRoche and Wilson Ramos went a combined 0-for-12 on Thursday. Sure, they worked a combined four walks, and Werth's walk was the play of the game, but the Nationals won't be facing Kerry Wood every game, unfortunately, and a team that is looking to contend needs to learn how to hit and make their destiny rather than having it handed to them. Really, I have no idea what Rizzo or manager Davey Johnson were thinking when they decided throwing out the same 2011 lineup was the best course of action.

Maybe they have more faith than I. There was a bright spot yesterday. Desmond, hitting leadoff, went 3-for-5 and batted in the winning run. He did all that was asked of him and delivered. The walks are all a promising sign, though they need to be complimented by hits. Outfielder and slugger Michael Morse has begun rehab and will be back with the big team soon. So maybe there are reasons to remain optimistic, but even so, the offense will be a continual problem for the Nats this season and it will be up for much debate.

I'm thinking of writing a sympathy card to hitting coach Rick Eckstein. I might send flowers with it. You have to sympathize with him to a point because you know this guy has got to be on the hot seat this season. If this offense repeats 2011 or (god forbid) does worse then you know there will be a call for his job. Eckstein carries himself like a stonewall, but you know he has to be feeling some pressure. This is his season.

I'm trying to decide between the card with a sunrise or the one with the flowers and flowery language. I'm going to write my idea in it too to help him out:

THE NATS NEED TO HIT.

Nationals Won't Start Season As Powerhouse, But They Might End It That Way

2012-03-30T15:56:59Z

On Thursday night, I headed out to Durty Nelly's Pub in Charlottesville, Virginia. About once every week I try to make it out to a watering hole as a reward to myself for pulling Daddy duty, writing duty and just generally being a normal member of society. Thursday night I was going to shed my skin, howl at the moon and transform into a creature resembling Jayson Werth. Awwwrrooooo! Stay off the moors as I look for a big dish of beef chow-mein.

I get in there, grab a seat at the bar (closest to where the pretty waitress works) and call for the bartender to get me a pint of Pabst Blue Ribbon, my favorite. The look on the bartender drops as she informs me the Pabst has been eighty-sixed. It was one of those rare times the PBR tap was dry at the place. This fact nearly ruined my night. I had to settle for a Bud Light, which was heartbreaking to me. If I was drinking from one of those name tag bottles and I had a pen, I would have written "crap" or "watered down frog piss" on the bottle. I drearily sipped from the glass as the pretty waitress' shift ended and I got stuck in a conversation about cheap cat food with a guy who strangely looked exactly like The Beast from Kung Fu Hustle.

The night was saved, however. Someone put on some Ted Nugent and I love the music of The Nuge. It makes me want to ride buffaloes. So I might have lost one battle on the tap, but I won another that ultimately sent me rocking all the way home. In some twisted way, I see the Washington Nationals regular season starting the same way as my experience at the pub and possibly ending the same way.

The Nationals have four more Spring Training battles to be fought in Florida, and then a quick stop in Washington for an exhibition against the Boston Red Sox before they open the season against the Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field on April 5th. We can look back on their 2012 Grapefruit League campaign and safely say that it was perhaps the most boring and yet the most exciting Spring Training since the team landed in Washington in 2005. It was boring in the sense that when it started, for the first time, the Nats had few roster spots open for debate. But it was exciting for the very same reason, and on top of it the Nats put together perhaps the best potential rotation in franchise history.

But as the Spring season fades into the regular season that excitement is slightly tempered by the fact that not all the required pieces of the Nationals' potentially potent roster will be with them in Chicago to start the season. Slugger Michael Morse and closer Drew Storen will be starting the season on the disabled list, as will starter Chien-Ming Wang, who was tagged as the Nationals' likely fifth starter. The outfield is still a subject of uncertainty after the failure to acquire a true center fielder in the off season. Werth is really the only guaranteed outfield option for the Nats, while the rest of the outfield will be a platoon or an outfielder-of-the-week sort of thing. Just a week ago, first baseman Xavier Nady was headed to the minor leagues, but this week he suddenly has the potential to make the Opening Day roster, which says a lot about the faith the Nats have in Adam LaRoche and whether he can maintain his health and/or a decent batting average.

A team depending on Nady and guys like Mark DeRosa, Roger Bernadina and John Lannan is going to struggle. It is what happens when a team doesn't acquire much depth and their tap runs dry. It doesn't mean the team won't be successful, but it is going to take some time for manager Davey Johnson to get this team online and in a groove. But the Nats' Nuge is coming. Morse and Storen will eventually be back, as well as Wang. General Manager Mike Rizzo is going to either make some moves to shore up the outfield situation or he will just wait until mega prospect Bryce Harper is called up later in the year. Personally, I'd like to see a little of both. First base will be a constant nag for the Nats this season unless some sort of move is made, but Chris Marrero is scheduled to return by the All-Star Break, so there is some bit of cavalry coming.

To sum it all up, the Opening Day Nationals we are going to get are not the Opening Day Nationals we want. For the first part of the season we are going to have to settle on the Nadys and Lannans. We aren't going to see the true 2012 Washington Nationals until a little later in the season. We can only hope that until that team arrives, the Nationals can still be in the thick of it so when the Cat Scratch Fever hits they can forget their Bud Light start of the season and rock and roll their way deep into a potentially epic run.