Back in January of 2011, a woman with the exotic name of Makini Chaka filed a civil complaint against Redskins tight end Fred Davis, alleging that he had thrown a drink on her and hit her in the face with a blunt object.

Garden-variety athlete shenanigans in clubland, right?

Nope.

This week, Washingtonian has come out of nowhere with an epic feature about the case, in which Davis is serving as his own counsel. For the record, Davis majored in sociology at USC, did not attend law school, and is representing himself in a case that could result in some financial loss, not to mention the personal embarrassment of a restraining order.

We don't want to completely spoil the good work of Luke Mullins, who wrote the story, but we do want to point out what may be the most stunning exchange in the history of American jurisprudence. It concerns a cross-examination conducted over certain images of Chaka, who Davis alleges is, more or less, a shakedown artist and a "madam/pimpette."

Here's that exchange:

Davis: "As it shows, you also have your hand on his genitals. I mean why would you take a picture like that?"

Chaka: "I do not. Let's look closely at the exhibit right here, Judge. Where is my hand placed in this exhibit?"

Judge: "I do not answer questions. . . . The witness does."

Chaka: "Can you tell me where my hand is actually at in this photo?"

Davis: "It looks like it's in the genitals to me. I mean your hands are on his genitals. Your hand is on his-"

Chaka: "Objection."

A memo to young D.C. athletes (like Bradley Beal): You want to know how to be successful in this town? It starts by avoiding the example of athletes like Fred Davis, and avoiding people like Makini Chaka altogether. Full stop.