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Nyjer Morgan Needs A New Alter Ego

As Adam Kilgore of the Washington Post noted, Nyjer Morgan is having a pretty bad May. How bad? I'd tell you the numbers, but I don't want to end up with indigestion.

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There have been many theories about what's causing him problems, most of which have to do with actual baseball-related things. But to me, there's only one explanation for his problems: the "Tony Plush" alter ego isn't working. All Morgan needs to pick it up is to think of a new alter ego. Once he does that, boom, problem solved!

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This is where y'all come in, since I'm not creative enough. What should Nyjer Morgan's new "gentleman's name" be? Put your suggestions in the comments.