Tonight's recommended options:
7:05 PM ET - Athletics @ Orioles, MASN. You know, in case any of you are like me and still give a crap. Also, Brian Matusz is pitching.
10:15 PM ET - Nationals @ Giants, MASN2. Tim Lincecum is perhaps the best pitcher in baseball. Until June 8, that is.
8:00 PM ET - AC Milan @ DC United, CSN. Who knows, maybe an exhibition match against one of the world's most storied franchises can turn around the season for DC (1-0-8), who sits dead last in the MLS.
8:30 PM ET - Celtics @ Magic, ESPN. Today's moral dilemma, in three parts. 1) Root harder in support of Rajon Rondo or against JJ Redick? 2) Root for the Magic to prolong the series or root against JJ Redick? 3) Root against the Celtics or against JJ Redick?
8:00 PM ET - "Varsity Blues", TNT. You love Billy Bob and you're not afraid to admit it.
6:30 PM ET - "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", VH1. Self-explanatory.
8:00 PM ET - "30 Best and Worst Beach Bodies", E!. You'll thank me later.
Warning: Do Not Watch
8:00 PM ET - "American Idol", FOX. The finale. I'll give you a hint: the girl wins. On another note, this show STILL exists?