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After Stephen Strasburg's 14 K Debut, What Will He Do Next?

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Stephen Strasburg's debut performance was nothing short of amazing. I mean, 14 strikeouts and zero walks in seven innings, why that is the stuff of legend right there.  

This got me thinking: After he performed at such a high level, is there anything that Strasburg can't do? I think not, so I compiled a list of things, once thought impossible, that I feel he will amaze us all with next.  

  • Stops the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico.

  • Cures cancer.

  • Fixes the Metro system...all of it. 

  • Finds Osama bin Laden.

  • D.C. Public Schools, now number one in the nation.

  • Beats Chuck Norris in a fist fight.

  • Redskins win eight games this upcoming season.

  • Every time Strasburg pitches, stock market jumps 100 points, economy saved.

  • Three words: no more potholes.

  • Make Rob Dibble the most compelling broadcaster on the planet ... wait that will never happen. 

(H/T to Mike Prada for some excellent suggestions)