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A Brief Response To Max Talbot's 'Douche' Allegations At Ovechkin

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So, I don't watch much hockey beyond Capitals games, and even there, my knowledge is half-baked at best. But I enjoy it, and especially love Alex Ovechkin, who's maybe my favorite athlete in any sport.

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So when I saw that some character named Max Talbot called Alex Ovechkin a douche... Well, we sort of have to respond, right?

1. Rockstars Can't Be Douchebags. Would you ever call Don Draper a douche? Lil Wayne? Keith Richards? No. They've all behaved in reprehensible fashion at one point or another, but "douche" just isn't applicable. A**hole, perhaps. But even then—they're rockstars, so what do you expect? Look at that photo of Ovechkin. Is that a douche? No. Douches are people who take themselves too seriously and look down on others. Alex Ovechkin is too busy being awesome to take himself seriously, and he doesn't really care what you think. That makes him a rock star.

2. Max Talbot Is French-Canadian. So he's probably a douche.

3. This, Apparently, Is Max Talbot. Probably Definitely a douche.

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Glad we got that cleared up.

(Ovie photo via, Talbot via Pittsburgh Magazine)