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What If We Could Just Blame Everything On Alexander Semin?

It seems to me like Alexander Semin is an easy scapegoat for pretty much anything that happens ever. (Note: slight exaggeration.) So in that spirit, I have to pass along this amusing story from Russian Machine Never Breaks. 

About a week ago, three Czech youngsters were kicked off the Czech Republic National Under-18 Team because they were caught drinking, smoking and smashing the walls in their hotel room after a 3-2 win over Russia. They, along with several others involved with the team, weren't too thrilled with the rash decision, so they tried to justify their actions. One did so by blaming Alexander Semin:

"I don't understand why we were sent home. On the web, I saw Alex Semin and other Russian stars smoking during the World Championships in Germany. And nothing came of it."    

Well, see, that's because Semin is a grown man and not a 17-year old kid like yourself. But I digress, because I kind of like this new trend of blaming Alexander Semin for everything.

Let's try it out.

 

  • Get caught in traffic on your way to work today? It's Alexander Semin's fault because he skates too slowly, therefore encouraging drivers to drive too slowly.
  • Get pulled over for speeding? It's Alexander Semin's fault because he plays too out of control, therefore encouraging you to drive out of control.
  • Get a poor grade on a test because you didn't study? It's Alexander Semin's fault because if he can't maximize his potential, why should you?
  • Forget your spouse's anniversary? It's Alexander Semin's fault because he also forgot something important -- showing up in the playoffs.
  • Get a gift your friend/spouse doesn't like? It's Alexander Semin's fault because he gave Capitals fans so many meaningless regular-season goals.
Wow, I feel better already. It's nice to be able to blame all your problems on someone who has nothing to do with them.