In a shocking upset, Teddy finally won a President's Race at Nationals Park. The much-maligned president, who has never won in the team's history, sped into first place riding a segway, stunning the crowd and finally bringing an end to the drought.
Alas, there was one problem: he was riding a segway. Because of this, Screech emphatically disqualified Teddy and declared Thomas Jefferson the winner. It was a noble attempt, especially given the heat, but it was all too obvious.
Too bad. Segway or no Segway, at some point, the Nationals need to throw Teddy a bone and let him win already. Granted, they had already DQ'd him for riding a bike and for being in the way of Kool Aid Man, but who cares about precedent anyway? Just let him win already.