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PHOTO: Behold, The Screaming Astros Fan

If you were watching Tuesday night's Nationals-Astros game, you may have heard some loud screaming, the sort of nightmarish sound that actually makes you wish that there was something wrong with your TV.

Alas, on Tuesday night, this proved not to be the case (or at least, if there was something wrong with your TV, this noise wasn't a symptom of it). No, as it turned out, the screaming was the product of an unknown Houston ... is "fan" the right word for someone this loathsome? I hope not.

And as if the screaming itself wasn't bad enough, wait until you see the prime seats this a-hole got.

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Yup, that's right. First row behind the Nats dugout. My blood pressure's rising just typing this.

Luckily, one of the things that makes the internet so great is the ability to narc on complete strangers for being total phalluses in public. So it is here.

Well done, people, especially Minute Maid Park security. Only took you guys eight innings. And then this happened.

Good God, y'all.

Top photo via @patrickboylan.