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Chris Cooley Will Get Onto The Pro Bowl Roster By Any Means Necessary

Chris Cooley has been in Hawaii all week for the Pro Bowl.Or at least that's what I assumed. Upon closer review, Chris Cooley isn't on the Pro Bowl roster, Tony Gonzalez and Jason Witten are the tight ends representing the NFC. So what exactly has Cooley been doing in Hawaii all this time?

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Apparently Cooley has been in Hawaii trying to make the Pro Bowl through osmosis, thinking that if he just hangs out with the teams for long enough he'll just be absorbed onto the roster, via a video at NFL.com transcribed by Matt Terl at Redskins Blog.

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"I know I'm not playing in the game," Cooley says, "but I feel like just because I'm here, there's some chance that I'm gonna play in the game."

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And if that doesn't work, he has something up his sleeve a little bit more diabolical.

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"So I'm gonna head down to this luau. I know [Pro Bowl tight ends] Tony Gonzalez and Jason Witten are down there. I'm gonna see if there's any way I can injure them. Maybe throughout the week, just like a Nancy Kerrigan incident?

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No better way to spend your vacation then to sit back and hope that one of your friends and colleagues suffers a semi-serious injury. You know, just relax.