:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/photo_images/4013036/505667867.jpg)
Howdy everyone! We're back for another edition of NFL picks. I finished over .500 last week, which means we're going to keep doing this. Why you'd listen to me, I don't know, but over .500 is better than under .500, right?
Anyway, enough self-deprication. Let's get on with the picks. As a reminder: we're using the SB Nation NFL Odds page for spreads, and they're as of Thursday.
Last week: 8-7-1
Oakland Raiders at Buffalo Bills (-3.5): I strongly suspect that Buffalo's Week 1 blowout of the Chiefs had more to do with Kansas City's ineptitude (as well as Eric Berry's injury) than the Bills actually being good. Obviously, they're better than many expect, but seeing as I'd probably pick Oakland over them anyway and there's more than the traditional three-point bump for the home team, I'll go with the Raiders. Raiders.
Green Bay Packers at Carolina Panthers (+10): Yeah I know, that line is high, but if you expect Cam Newton to come close to duplicating his Week 1 performance against a real secondary, you have way more faith than me. Packers.
Kansas CIty Chiefs at Detroit Lions (-9): Another insanely high line, but if Week 1 proved me anything, it's that the Chiefs are really bad. Lions
Cleveland Browns at Indianapolis Colts (+3): The Browns were the most disappointing team in Week 1 to me, and that's not not because I picked them in all my suicide pools. Indianapolis looked awful of course last week, but it had to mess with their preparation to have the Peyton Manning news drop. With a week to adjust, I think we'll see a better performance and a home win. Colts.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Minnesota Vikings (-3): It's one thing to throw for 39 yards passing, but to do it in a week where 14 quarterbacks throw for 300 yards is doubly insane. Maybe Donovan McNabb really is done after all. Buccaneers.
Chicago Bears at New Orleans Saints (-7): Chicago's defense was unbelievable against Atlanta, but you got the sense watching Thursday night's opener that the Saints and Packers are simply on another level compared to everyone else in the NFC. Saints.
Jacksonville Jaguars at New York Jets (-9): Gotta say, the Jets really weren't that impressive in Week 1 against the Cowboys. They won, but only because of Tony LOLomo. Sorry, that's the lamest nickname ever. Jaguars to cover.
Seattle Seahawks at Pittsburgh Steelers (-14.5): What does it say about a team when you're a two-touchdown underdog to a team who turned the ball over seven times in a 35-7 loss the week before? Steelers.
Baltimore Ravens at Tennessee Titans (+6.5): I hate to say it, but the Ravens looked really, really good last week. The Steelers played badly, but Baltimore was really on its game. I think that continues against a bad Titans squad. Ravens.
Arizona Cardinals at Washington Redskins (-4): HOMER PICK. Redskins.
Dallas Cowboys at San Francisco 49ers (+3): According to this line, this game would basically be a push if it was played on a neutral field. I know Tony LOLomo and the Cowboys are fun to mock, but c'mon. It's not 1995. Cowboys.
Cincinnati Bengals at Denver Broncos (-3.5): WE WANT TEBOW! WE WANT TEBOW! Bengals.
Houston Texans at Miami Dolphins (+3): I know it was the banged-up Colts, but for the Texans to win that easily without Arian Foster was really impressive. Maybe this is finally the year they get it done. The Dolphins, meanwhile, looked dreadful in Week 1 on defense, and now face arguably the league's best offense. Enjoy! Texans.
San Diego Chargers at New England Patriots (-7): I know it's September, and I know Tom Brady was amazing last week, but that line is way too high. San Diego always plays the Patriots well, and going from Miami's awful pass defense to a Chargers pass defense that made McNabb (figuratively) weep is a huge step up. Chargers.
Philadelphia Eagles at Atlanta Falcons (+3): Man, the Falcons looked bad last week. Now, they get to face Michael Vick as he returns to Atlanta. He's going to be pretty jacked up for that. Eagles.
St. Louis Rams at New York Giants (-7): It's a battle between a team with no healthy defensive players and a team with no healthy offensive players. MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL Y'ALL! Giants.